A few random thoughts

I really can't stand "get to know me" or "ice-breaker" activities. They seem so superficial and thrown together. I mean what do I choose for this new group of adults to know about me? Do I go for the gusto -- "what I really think about people who bring infants to restaurants" or do I keep it neat, clean and superficial -- "Hi, I'm Ruth and I like thin crust pizza."?

Let's face it -- sometimes I am just that -- superficial. Sometimes all I am worried about is where the freakin' remote got to or what that burning sensation is on my tongue. As a matter of fact, I'll go one step further. I'm hardly ever deep and thoughtful in my everyday life. I watch "Law and Order" re-runs and cut out coupons and think about what I want for lunch tomorrow. That's the REAL me. If I watch a documentary or read something insightful on the net, I just might, take time out of the minor concerns of the day to think about something. But usually, I have to stop after a while and take an ativan.

Is this the way I thought or wanted it to be? Of course not. But I'll be honest. There's something so mind-numbingly comforting in my tenth re-run of "Law and Order" and somebody has to cut out those stupid coupons growing in a large pile on the floor. In my twenties, I would spend hours on the phone with a friend (or heck, even an acquaintance) trying to get it all figured out. I thought if I could track it down, name it, and define it then, I could master it. I definitely could have used the ativan back then.